Bringing Value to Your Social Media Network

Have you ever taken a moment to assess how much value you bring to your social media network?

Equally as important, have you ever taken a moment to assess how much value your social media network brings to you?

A strong social media network is a prized possession.  When people collaborate, they create opportunities to learn, to share and to change the world.

But a strong social media network is like a classic automobile.  When taken care of and nurtured, it is a source of pride and enjoyment.  It brings a sense of purpose, fulfillment and joy to your life and to the lives of others and therefore provides value.

If it is not nurtured with effective, proactive maintenance, it eventually turns into something that takes too much of your time and appears to be of little value.  It may even become something you come to resent as you seek to find the value that you know should be there but is difficult to see.  It’s the classic automobile that has potential but which is buried in a pile of junk in an old barn out back, waiting for its potential to be rediscovered.

If there is no value in some relationships, why invest in them?

When you are on your way to work, to the mall or wherever, do you stop and chat for 30 minutes with every random stranger you meet with intent of building a lifelong relationship?

Of course not – if you did, you would never get anything done.

So I wonder why people would do the same thing with certain slices of their social media network; spending too much time trying to incubate all the relationships instead of focusing on the relationships that really bring value to each participant in the relationship (or third-parties who will benefit from their collaboration).

Many spend too much time with their “broad-side-of-the-barn” approach, get very little for their unfocused activity and then complain that they aren’t producing the results they would prefer to produce.  Many who spend a lot of time doing this lament that they are run off their feet because they are so busy.

Yet when their effectiveness (and sometimes happiness) are actually measured, the results are embarrassing.  They have confused activity with productivity and action with traction (completely different from the story of success that they claim exists).

I would suggest that growing a network of immense size and unknown value that takes a small staff to maintain is not the right approach.  If people selected the members of their social media network more effectively, they might find that the relationships bring greater quality to their personal and professional lives and the lives of others.

I know that some people will cry foul with this observation.  It is true that there are people who use their networks VERY effectively.  Others can learn from how they contribute to and participate in their social media network.

However, when many people complain of poor results or the fact that they have no time to get anything done, you realize that these people still haven’t figured out how to use social media effectively.

In fact, I don’t think they are using social media at all. I think it is using them.

As with all technology, control the use of social media effectively otherwise it will control you. 

In 2011, I have decided to eliminate 80% of the connections in my social media network.  My network is quite large and has reached a point where maintaining the network is becoming a full time job (for example, my LinkedIn 3rd degree network has almost 16 million people in it and drives a lot of traffic in my direction that I have no interest in and where I can offer no value in return).

I did this last year and it greatly reduced the amount of noise in my life.  It is time for a second pass.

Feelings will be hurt.  Some people will be offended. That is unfortunate but if we live a life doing everything that everyone else expects of us for their own gain, we would have no time to live our own lives.

My Life, the time I have remaining on this Earth and my unlimited potential to make a difference are too important to waste.

I believe yours is too important to waste also.

So why waste it?

To you and yours, I wish an amazing abundance of health, wealth and happiness in 2011.

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Christmas Tradition–Appreciating Our Blessings

Some years ago when my oldest son was very young, I had pulled into a Toys R Us parking lot in New Jersey on Christmas Eve to buy him more "stuff".  For my son to have so much stuff that he rivaled Toys R Us in inventory still didn't seem enough for some reason.

Just before I stepped out of my vehicle, a story came on my favorite National Public Radio station (WNYC in New York to be exact) and something about it caught my ear.

For the next 10 minutes, I sat in silence and listened to the story.  When the story was over, I started the truck and drove out of the parking lot in silence. 

I had received an important message about Christmas when I needed to hear it. 

The teacher always appears when the student is ready and our Christmases have never been the same since.

Of the many traditions we have in our family at Christmas, there are two that we find important.

1. We always listen to this story at least once.

2. We always share it at least once.

The story we listen to can be found here.  Click on the "Real Media" or “Windows” links under the title "John Henry Faulk's Christmas Story" to hear the story.

Besides my family and Life itself, I consider myself blessed to have so many incredible friends and colleagues.

With that, I thank YOU for what you do - for the light and love you bring to so many.

In an uncertain world, every day we are alive is still an incredible gift.

In a world that experiences difficult moments, there are still miracles being created.

In a world that experiences war and hostility, there are still many examples of love and generosity.

In a world that experiences adversity and challenge, there exists unlimited opportunity and potential.

In a world that may seem to embrace greed, there are examples of incredible generosity.

We have many reminders that we still live in a beautiful world.

As you celebrate this Holiday Season, please remember those who are not as fortunate.  There is more than enough love to go around – we just need to make the effort to share it unconditionally.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, Happy EID or Merry Yule.  However you celebrate these days, cherish them. 

In service and servanthood, love and gratitude.

Harry

For those who can’t find the links on the NPR website to hear the story, they can be found here:

Windows Media Player

Real Media Player

When Ego and Common Sense Collide ….

…. or ….

“The noise in your car will go away if you turn the radio up loud enough”.

This thought came to mind today as I spoke to a good friend and Wall St. client as we exchanged Thanksgiving pleasantries.

My friend, whom I will name “Frank”, is working on a project of considerable cost and complexity that, after starting and being cancelled three times mid-project, was now starting to gain traction for a fourth go-around.

As a strategy guy, I was intrigued by this and asked him what was different about this version of the project versus the previous incarnations that had gone down in flames.  After determining that nothing was fundamentally different between this attempt and the previous ones, we explored why they were about to repeat a process that seemed doomed to failure.

Ego Overrules Common Sense

It turns out that the ego of the team, particularly within the leadership of the project, is shouting so loudly that it is preventing them from seeing that they are repeating history – a very expensive history.

The killer for me was when I asked Frank, if he knew that what they were doing was wrong, then why he didn’t just find somewhere else to work.

His answer summed it up:

Do you know how much I would give up in stock and perks if I walk away from my employer?

His personal values, common sense and life experience, which told him that what they were doing was wrong, had been compromised by the extrinsic motivator of money.

The life experiences of the team’s leaders and how they viewed the knowledge of the team members were being compromised by their ego.

Common sense, like Elvis, had left the building.

I realized as we spoke that many of our corporate leaders still don’t get it, despite assurances to the public, to shareholders, etc. that bailouts, regulatory changes, a few rah-rah team building exercises and other things have produced a different way of doing business.

Key Element of Leadership – Influence and Values

They miss a key element of leadership.

The demonstrated values of the leadership at the top of the organization grow and amplify as they move down through the rank and file.

Leaders influence their entire organization through their actions and behaviors and that as they demonstrate their personal values on a daily basis, so will the people within the organization embrace and emulate those same values.

This is the power of strong leadership, good and bad.

And so when I see poor actions taking place within the bowels of a large organization, I don’t think that the core of the problem, the “thing” that needs to be fixed, is at that specific level of the organization.

Instead, I look at the leadership of the organization, the behavior of the leaders and the values that they demonstrate.

And when I do that, I can tell exactly what type of “bread” their organization will bake throughout the different levels of the organization.

Avoiding the Negative Impact of Excessive Ego

Many leaders use their ego to brazen and bully their way through many situations, ignoring or covering up issues that are all around them.

So will the people who follow them.

The problem is that, as with a car that is making a bad noise , “turning up the radio” can provide you with an opportunity to ignore the problem.

But sooner or later, you end up broken down in the middle of nowhere – just as we were in the spring and summer of 2008.

The only way to avoid breaking down is to turn down the radio and honestly assess the problem.

With a focus on ego-less collaboration, acknowledging the respective skills, knowledge, talents and life experiences of others in a respect—filled, trust-filled environment.

Otherwise, the organization may be about to experience a significant problem.

It’s like car brakes that make a very loud screech when you apply them.

You can always turn up the radio.

And that makes everything ok.

Doesn’t it?

In service and servanthood.

Harry

For my detailed blog on “When Ego and Common Sense Collide”, including a reference to the Bread Recipe Rule, please click here.

To Influence the Mind of Others ….

… you MUST touch their heart.

In order to touch the heart, you must KNOW  the individual you wish to influence.  You must know what turns them on and equally important, what turns them off.

And despite this, many people seek to influence others in a somewhat random way and are often disappointed with the results.

One of the things I learned in my many years on Wall St. is the importance of knowing who I am dealing with.

When I have a need to establish a relationship for the purpose of collaborating, I immediately research the other person to understand:

• what they like and what they don’t like
• what ignites their passion and what throws cold water on it
• where they believe their sense of purpose is
• how they prefer to execute
• who their organization serves
• what their organization does and how it does it
• what my organization does and how it does it
• what I bring to the table to enable the person whom I am establishing the relationship with
• how the intersection of all of these areas produces the sweet spot for success for everyone involved.

People talk about establishing win/win relationships and yet they don’t know the person they are dealing with.

If someone doesn’t know what motivates another, how can one expect to influence them?

One may get lucky, but then again, who wants to rely on luck?

So, before attempting to influence someone else ask yourself two questions:

1. What do I REALLY know about the person I wish to influence and collaborate with?

2. Having learned as much as I can about them, how can I serve the needs of that person, in a manner that resonates with their own beliefs, values and execution style?

This is the age of knowledge, knowledge equally accessible by all.

Use it to your benefit and to the benefit of those whom you serve and collaborate with.

Some people think this is a lot of work.  Yes it is.  However, if you really want to produce positive results consistently, you will discover that it is definitely worth it.

Also, as you do this you will discover that in spending so much time learning about the other person that you are in fact making an investment in a very long-term relationship; the kind that produces true win/wins for many years to come.

Then again, you could rely on luck.

Which would you prefer?

In service and servanthood.

Harry

Answering the Call of Your Holy Discontent

I receive hundreds of emails a day with questions covering a broad spectrum of subjects, ranging from corporate strategy, technology architecture, leadership and everything in between.

However, one email this morning made me stop and think.

While it was quite lengthy, the person I will only identify as John in New York City asked me this:

Why do you do what you do and why do you do it with such passion and conviction?

John was referring to my passion for tackling things that needed to be addressed in the world instead of taking the safe, quiet road that many prefer to travel.  After all, he notes:

… with your strong belief in the unlimited good in the world, isn’t it more rewarding and easier to simply write about the good stuff than to be always be contemplating the stuff that needs to be fixed.

I agree with John that it is VERY important that we embrace the great things we see in the world and to promote the great people, results and events we see all around us.  By doing so, we take comfort in knowing that the world is a much more positive, inspiring place than the media would have us believe.

However, despite all of the great things going on in the world:

• many of the hungry remain hungry
• many of the corporations in need of stronger leadership continue to produce less than optimal results
• society continues to not embrace technology as effectively as it should for the betterment of all
• governments continue to lose sight of the fact that they exist for the people and not the other way around

We all pay the price for this, which is why we need to own the solutions.  With this in mind, I believe that we need to:

• passionately ask intelligent questions
• challenge ideas that have room for improvement and growth
• collaborate aggressively
• share unconditionally.

We need to move forward with passion and conviction to make the greatest difference we can with the time we have remaining.

And remember this:

EVERYTHING WE DO MATTERS

The results of everything we do become our ultimate legacy.

There is a quote incorrectly attributed to Charles H. Duell, Commissioner of the U.S. patent office in the 19th century where he is alleged to have said "Everything that can be invented has been invented."

If we believe that everything that can be done to improve the world has been done, then we should stop trying to make a difference now.

However, I don't believe this is the case.

Do you?

In service and servanthood, passionately.

Harry

To see my detailed blog “Answering Your Holy Discontent”, please click here.

Leaders Serve Others–Not Themselves

Another mid-term election has come and gone in the US and amongst all the celebration, lamentations over losses and talk of change, there is another dialogue that is less exciting to hear.

It is the dialogue focused around “We the insert party name here Party will focus on the next two years in preparation for the next election”.

They are focused on future events that are critical to their personal needs instead of focusing on the important tasks at hand that are key to the futures of those whom they serve.

Leaders, whether they be within corporations, governments or any other institution, exist to serve others and to exert appropriate levels of influence in the course of serving others.  They serve others in order to maximize the potential of their organization and the team members within the organization and in turn, to maximize the product or service that their organization provides.  They also exist to represent the needs of others.  In the case of the US, 330 million people cannot fit into the Capitol Building.

When a leader is more focused on the leadership position itself and not on the people they serve, then they are merely self-serving individuals who seek the position for their own gain at the detriment of others. 

If a leader’s focus becomes entirely centered around the needs of the leader; attaining power, keeping it or getting it back if lost, then we need to find new leaders.

When it comes to attaining and retaining the title of “leader”, we must let their time in office be based on their actions on behalf of those whom they serve and not allow them to be focused on actions solely focused on retaining the title.

Let their actions speak so loudly that we cannot hear what they are saying.

When this happens and they truly serve others, they win and so do we.

And so we support them as we should ….

…. as long as we see them serve the needs of those whom they exist to serve.

In service and servanthood,

Harry

For my detailed blog entry about “Leaders Serve Others – Not Themselves” including observations about the Democrat and Republican Parties, please click here.

The Power of Trusting Your Instinct

A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting in a coffee shop and I happened to notice a presentation that a gentleman was working on.

This was a guy who was a regular in this coffee shop.  No matter what time I stopped by, he was always there, sitting in the same seat, working on various presentations.  Lots of people write presentations in coffee shops.  However, his presentation was different.

In his PowerPoint presentation, he was writing about how non-Muslims are cattle and don’t deserve to live.  He also wrote a number of other things about how to solve the problem of so much “cattle”. I was intrigued and concerned so I made it my business to keep peeking over his shoulder to see what he was doing. 

What he wrote is not important here although it was clearly disturbing.  It was also clearly not an academic paper or a piece of fiction – this man was filled with a lot of anger and was capturing it in a manner to be shared with others, to encourage anger in them as well.

Their intention and their desired outcome was not good at all.

I reflected on this as the events transpired – what should I do?

After all, we are taught that everyone has the right to freedom of expression.

We are taught that everyone has the right to privacy.

We are taught to not make an invalid assumption that could hurt someone.

We are taught to mind our own business.

However, as I watched what he was writing, I realized something else.

He was against our right to the various freedoms we enjoy in the western world.

And he was willing to commit or encourage acts of violence to impose his will over mine or someone else’s.

That was when my instinct told me what I needed to do and I contacted local police authorities.  I shared what I observed and left it at that.

Within a few days, he stopped showing up a the coffee shop.

Was he arrested?

Was he tipped off?

Did he decide to go to another coffee shop for specific reasons?

Or was it all coincidence?

I’ll probably never know.

However, I do know that my instinct was alerting me to the high probability that what I was witnessing wasn’t right.

It was calling me to take action, even if I didn’t know what the right action was.

So I followed my instinct and took action.

Many times in our personal or professional lives, we are often faced with opportunities to make difficult decisions and many times, we get tied up in over-analyzing what we should do.

When we over-analyze what we need to do, we often talk ourselves out of taking any action or we spend so much time analyzing the situation that irrevocable things happen while we are still deciding what we should do.

When this happens, events transpire that may cause us grief or regret that we didn’t take action sooner (or that we hadn’t taken any action at all).

However, when we learn to trust our instinct, we discover that it is a greater gift than we realize.

And who knows – maybe some day, following your instinct may save a project, a relationship or even a company.

It may even save a life.

You just have to give your instinct a chance to cultivate.

And give yourself a chance to trust it and to follow what it tells you.

In service and servanthood,

Harry

For my detailed blog entry about “The Power of Trusting Your Instinct”, please click here.

Hold On – Help is on the Way

I was reminded this past weekend of the tenuous hold we have on Life.

I was also reminded how important every minute is with the people that matter to us.

As I write this today, I am grateful that my oldest son is alive – 48 hours ago, this mightn’t have been the case.

And as I sit here and wait for healthcare professionals to plan through next steps, I am grateful that his long term prognosis appears to be good.

48 hours ago, I wasn’t filled with gratitude.

I was filled with fear.

I was filled with grief.

I was filled with anxiety.

I was filled with anger.

My head was exploding with emotion.

But that wasn’t helping anyone, in particular my son.

It wasn’t helping me either.

In fact, it wasn’t doing anything positive for anyone.

In our personal and professional lives, we often find ourselves overwhelmed as we face decisions that impact ourselves and others or the need to understand “why” when we feel we are being crushed by the events around us.

And during those moments, we may find ourselves overwhelmed with many emotions, some that help us to survive and some that drag us down like a millstone around our neck.

Even during those moments, it is important to realize one thing.

As long as you are breathing, there is opportunity for hope.

There is opportunity for solutions.

There is opportunity for miracles.

And when you come to this realization as I did, you realize, as strange as it sounds, that you have something to be grateful for even as your world seems to be closing in around you.

Gratitude … an often overused word and yet a feeling that can provide the firm footing you need while you quiet the noise around you, giving you time to regroup.

Sometimes it is hard to find the things to be grateful for, especially in times of loss or pain.

But sometimes as the tempests blow around you, being grateful for the smallest thing can give you the glimmer of hope, the tiny seed of strength you need as you wait for the cavalry to arrive, bringing love, support and hope.

After all, if we don’t have hope that things can get better when they appear to be at their worst, what do we have at all?

If you feel pressured by the events of your Life, hold on – help is on the way.

And if you’re the cavalry, it’s time to mount up.  Someone needs your help today.

In service and servanthood,

Harry

For my detailed blog entry for “Hold On – Help is on the Way”, please click here.

Juan Williams and NPR

I rarely comment on politically-charged events in the media.

However, the firing of Juan Williams from NPR for his comments is disrupting me.  Click here for a description of why his comments about seeing Muslims on aircraft and how they make him nervous got him fired.

It is important that we NOT assume every Muslim is out to kill people. There are radical Muslims, Christians, Jews, atheists and everything else.  Craziness doesn’t have a preferred creed.

HOWEVER ...

The media keeps drilling us that Muslims are the key problem (whether accurate or not).

Public transit (subways, trains, ferries, airlines, etc.) have signs plastered everywhere reminding us to be aware of suspicious activity and to report it immediately.

Intelligence sources keep telling us of things that have been averted but can't tell us what for national security reasons.
We are constantly reminded that the next big event is a "when" and not an "if".

So we are called to keep our diligence high but are left in the dark about what we should be diligent about.

So when Williams says how he looks out for trouble, in essence what his best interpretation is of all of this information, he is fired.

If we can be punished for guessing based on the enormous crush of innuendo and vague information, then PLEASE help us to help you by telling us:

WHAT TROUBLE DO WE LOOK FOR?

WHO DO WE LOOK FOR IT IN?

Don't make people guess and then punish them for expressing how they do it based on the heavy crush of vague, fear-spreading information that flows daily.

And don’t punish people for exercising their right to free speech.  Isn’t this a foundational element of the great United States of America?

Otherwise, this just keeps everyone off balance.

But then again maybe that's the intention.

The question would then be ….

Why?

In service and servanthood.

Harry

For my detailed version about “Juan Williams and NPR”, please click here.

If I Wanted Your Opinion ….

… I’d give it to you.

So goes the phrase, often expressed and laughed over.

The only problem is … it’s not funny anymore.

I’ve found myself in a few interesting debates as of late, discussing some heated subjects with others.

What I have found interesting is that in many of these debates, there were a couple of things prevalent:

1. There was anger on the part of the other person (sometimes a lot more than the subject warranted)

2. There weren’t a whole lot of facts being used to defend the other person’s position, just the afore mentioned emotion.

I found this intriguing and puzzling (and frustrating, to be honest) to observe until one person finally enlightened me yesterday when he said:

You have no right to say this.

It finally hit me.

We weren’t taking opposite sides in the debate I thought I was participating in.

I was in fact, defending my right to have a contrary opinion at all.

I just didn’t realize it and hence I had brought the wrong facts to the table. 

Many cultures in the world have developed and flourished because of the open exchange of ideas.  Such exchanges are often passionate and sometimes anger filled as people agree and disagree.  However, we have always embraced the right to the exchange and we grow as a result of it.

When we lose the ability to explore all sides of something, when a particular side is automatically right “just because”, then one of the foundational elements of our culture is lost.

And as with any structure, when the foundation falls, the structure won’t stand for long.

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi once told Americans that if they disagreed with national healthcare then they were un-American.

President Obama recently told a number of college students to stop paying attention to social media as the opinions being circulated around were creating too much confusion.

That is their opinion.

However, the truth is that your opinion matters also.

So does mine.

And when we embrace this belief, we embrace making something better.

Any idea that is properly debated will be stronger as a result of the vetting and exploration process.

I would rather my idea be made stronger through such a process or proven that it is a bad idea, so that I can abandon it before I waste too much of my time or someone else’s.

What do you think - do you agree or disagree?

Or do you think I’m not entitled to my opinion at all? :-)

In service and servanthood.

Harry

To see my detailed version of “If I Wanted Your Opinion ….”, please click here.

Truth Welcome Here

As I walked into my favorite coffee shop today, my eyes fell upon a sign that is common in many establishments.

It said “Welcome here” and showed symbols of all of the primary credit cards that have become commonly known around the world.

If we as a species hung a “Welcome here” sign welcoming visitors to Earth, what types of things would we say are welcome?

Would truth be one of them?

We live in a world where we claim to cherish truth as a primary value but often it seems that it is only a primary value when it is convenient; when being truthful doesn’t conflict with some other intention or need.

It also seems more and more these days that truth, especially when it comes to realities that may be painful to accept, are viewed as pessimism. In these situations, unless we can spin something into a positive light, we often feel like we are better off not saying anything at all for fear of being criticized as not being a positive person or being afraid (as politicians think) that people wouldn’t be able to handle the truth.

“Stuff” that needs to be addressed doesn’t fix itself in the meantime.

The great trouble with truth, whether it be on a political level, a corporate level, a societal level, an ecological level, etc. is that it has this nasty way of reminding us of our responsibilities to ourselves, to others and to the planet – of reminding us that there are still some things that need fixing in this world and that WE own the problem and the solution.

A former client of mine and a wonderful human being sent me a note the other day where he used an expression that really struck me.  He said he was a “tactical pessimist and a strategic optimist”. I refer to this as a realist with an optimistic outlook – people who acknowledge that while significant challenges exist, our potential to overcome them is even greater.

There will always be challenges – in business, in government, in relationships, in our health and in the world at large.  The best way to tackle them is to acknowledge they are there.

When we acknowledge they are there, we have an opportunity to collaborate towards proactive solutions.

Being truthful to ourselves and others is often painful.

When we choose to not be truthful, we know that the truth always comes out eventually.

When it comes out on our own terms, it is often much less painful than if allowed to eventually make its way to the surface.

Easier said than done … but an important goal to strive towards nonetheless.

To be truthful, our world is counting on it.

Can it count on you?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

To see my detailed blog “Truth Welcome Here”, please click here.

Changing Your Perspective

I’m sitting in a coffee shop this morning where a food drive is under way to help the local food bank.  They are accepting whatever one chooses to give – non-perishables, money, etc.

As I observe the customers frequenting the coffee shop, there appears to be very few people contributing to either the food bin or the money container.  In our busy world, it is easy to overlook those who ask for help.  Sometimes we rationalize that too many people are asking for our help and it is time for someone else to carry the load.

It is important for all of us to know that for as abundant as our Life may be, the truth is that we are never far from being the one who needs help.  Life teaches us humbling lessons – not when we want them or are ready for them but when we need them.

I know – I’ve been there.  Most honest people will admit that they have been there also.

I noticed something else this morning.  When I change my viewpoint from one of not many people contributing to one of many people giving generously, I noticed that many more are giving to the person collecting.

Some people would say that visualizing more generous people actually creates a future of generous people.

Others would say that we see what we choose to see and so by changing my lens, I perceive what I wish to see – more people giving from their heart.

Others would say it is luck or coincidence.  Unfortunately for them, I don’t believe in either.

I believe everything happens with purpose.

And while many things feed your purpose (vision, mission, goals, beliefs, networks, knowledge, skills, talents, opportunities, courage, wisdom, etc), I am reminded this morning that one of the key things that is essential to what you experience is your perspective.

You have the power of choice – use your ability to choose your perspective to your advantage and to the advantage of others.  Act as if your personal and professional Life depends on it because it does.

What you choose to see today is what you create for yourself and others.

What do you see right now?

In service and servanthood.

Harry

My detailed musing of “Changing Your Perspective” can be found here.

Creating a Great Day

Many people comment on my tagline at the bottom of my email and in the signoff in my voicemail.

Take care and create a great day.

I’ve noticed with great delight that many in my network have now adopted some variance of this within their own parlance.

When it comes to wishing that someone have a great day, it seems as much wishful thinking, as if to say “I hope a great day happens to come your way and you are able to latch onto it”.

In my mind, this seems to place too much randomness on the day you are having, that you would:

1. Be lucky enough to have good stuff come your way.

2. That you would be alert enough to see it.

3. That you would have the insight to take a hold of it.

4. That you would have the courage (if required) in order to grasp it.

5. That you would have the strength to hang on to it if the challenge gets difficult.

That’s a lot of stuff going on and with enough permutations that it may be as much miss as hit when it comes to reaching your maximum potential for the day.

However, when you set out to create a great day, you take ownership of the day.  You set out to create the greatest chance for success (however you define it) for yourself, your family, your friends, your co-workers, the people you lead, the people you serve and the complete strangers that you will never meet but which you influence every day.

This doesn’t provide any guarantees in Life.  While we would appreciate such guarantees, some of the best things in our Lives occur because of unexpected events.

However, setting out to create the best you can provides far greater opportunity for achieving a great day than sitting back and hoping that everything aligns perfectly.

In addition, when you feel you are creating something, you have a better sense of control over your day, moving you forward with purpose and removing the sense of helplessness many people feel as they wait for Life to happen to them.

We live in a world that the media would convince you is a crazy one filled with violence, hate, corruption, war, disease and gloom and doom.

Yes – these things are present in more quantity than we would prefer.

However, the world is also one filled with love, inspiration, beauty, miracles and examples of our ability to do great things when we are inspired to do so.

When you allow Life to happen to you, you will likely be influenced by the negativity in the world.

When you set out to create your Life, you will likely focus on the unlimited beauty and potential in the world.

Would you rather own your Life to the best of your ability or allow your Life to be owned by accidental or intentional events imposed on you by others?

I think I know what your answer is.

George Bernard Shaw once said:

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

What are you waiting for?

Create a great day!

In service and servanthood.

Harry

My detailed blog entry for “Creating a Great Day” is the same as the Musings-in-a-Minute version and can be found here.

The Importance of Conversation

I was recently reminded of how seemingly unimportant conversations touch others as I sat in a Starbucks in a small town in western Canada and read the handwritten message on the plastic cup that held my iced venti latte.

The message read:

Lethbridge will miss you! – SBUX #4628

For those of you who don’t know me well, I do some of my best work in coffee shops across North America.  They give me an opportunity to stay energized on caffeine, an opportunity to concentrate in a place where my anonymity allows me to focus, a chance to get to know the city or town I am in (all the good and bad news of a city flows through the local coffee shop) and an opportunity to interact with amazing people.  I become a bit of a local fixture -- the mysterious stranger who engages in passionate conversation about any subject before disappearing as suddenly as he appeared.

I am the type of person who engages in conversation with everybody … sitting beside me on the plane, standing in the line at the supermarket, attending to my table in a restaurant and yes, hanging out at the coffee shop.  Some of my greatest friendships have started this way.

When I interact with people like this, I am given an opportunity to gain insight into what makes people happy, sad, angry, perplexed and the whole menagerie of other things we all experience daily.

I also have an opportunity to see that people today, despite all of our connectivity through texting, Facebook, Twitter and other forms of communication, still really appreciate a good ol’ honest-to-goodness face-to-face conversation.

I would almost suggest that we hunger for them more than ever.

Our world is becoming one of instant, quick, often sterile exchanges of information.  Sure we insert abbreviations like LOL (laughing out loud), ROFL (rolling on the floor laughing) and the like, but nothing beats real laughter shared in person.

I am also made aware of how many people out there hunger for someone to listen to them; someone who reaches out to a stranger and says a kind word that suggests that if they need someone to listen to, then the “ear” has just arrived.  This is not an “ear” that will judge but rather, an “ear” of a new friend who cares and who is genuinely interesting in hearing their story.

For many who need that “ear”, they are not necessarily looking for a solution.  However, sharing a burden oftentimes can help lighten someone’s load.  To know one is not alone is a powerful aid to overcoming many of today’s challenges.

For a powerful example of the importance of such spontaneous, often short-lived conversations, please click here to read my detailed blog.  In it, I tell the story of how two strangers come together for less than five minutes and produce a result that changed the lives of both people forever.

Every conversation has the opportunity to change a life forever.

Perhaps it is someone else’s.

Perhaps it is yours.

As for the wonderful folks at the Starbucks in Lethbridge, I’ll stop in again soon to say hi.  The same goes for the great people at Coffee Matters in Paradise, Newfoundland, Canada and my favorite little places in New York, Chicago, Atlanta, Ottawa and everywhere else I have parked myself to muse upon the workings of the world.

And when I get there, perhaps I will be blessed to have a conversation with you.  If you’re shy, that’s not a problem.  I will say hi first to get us started. :-)

In service and servanthood.

Harry

For my detailed blog, “The Importance of Conversation”, please click here.

You’re Not Worth Much, Are You?

It must be difficult being you.

You have no gifts to share with others.

You have no talents, insights or strengths that others want.

Few opportunities come your way that have real potential to change your life.

Your time and your life in general are of so little value that it doesn’t matter if you squander them.

Your career is not bringing a sense of purpose any more.  Maybe it never did.

You are not loving yourself and others to your fullest ability.

You are living a good life, you exclaim.  I know nothing of your life and so you question where I get the audacity to make such claims.  You are right where you want to be and I have no right to say such things.  I should mind my own business.

Heated words are exchanged as you defend yourself, as your ego attempts to assert itself over mine.

I am glad that you are defending yourself.

Because everything I said about you is NOT true.

However, if an objective observer were to evaluate you on your actions and not your words, they might come to the same conclusion as I just did.  They might say the same things about me also.

If someone offered you more of what you need right now; better health, fewer bills, more fulfilling career, etc., most would accept it immediately.

So your hopes and dreams are alive. :-)

Thank goodness!

It’s up to you to do something about converting your hopes and dreams into beliefs, which fuel action, which creates results.

You are more than worth it.

So what are you waiting for?

In service and servanthood.

Harry

For my detailed blog “You’re Not Worth Much, Are You?”, please click here.

Is Optimism Killing Us?

I’ve noticed an interesting trend lately in many circles, especially in the corporate and government worlds.

If you point out a problem or even acknowledge that a problem exists, then you are a pessimist.

Meanwhile, the things we want to pretend aren’t happening continue to grow in frequency and intensity.

For examples, please see my detailed blog here.

Equally insidious are the people who are trying to convince their management, peers and minions that everything is under control so people shouldn’t ask questions.

When people like me come along, insatiably curious about everything, we are a threat to their peace of mind.  After all, people who don’t accept with blind faith that everything is perfectly under control are a danger to the myth they are trying to impart upon others and a threat to their ego.

That being said, optimism and hope are critical attributes to have.  Without them, it is easy to feel overwhelmed, that we have no chance of surviving that which we are facing.  If we feel overwhelmed, we give up hope and lie down in defeat.

We must always have hope that great, wonderful things are before us.

But until we acknowledge that oftentimes there really are difficult and challenging obstacles that must be overcome first, we will still be smiling with the deer-in-the-headlights look when the thing we pretended wasn’t there runs right over us, whether it be a personal failure, a corporate blunder or a government collapse.

Being a pessimist is not productive on many levels and can be extremely crippling to you and those around you.

Being an uber-optimist is not much better.

I think it is better to be a realist with an optimistic outlook – that it is ok to acknowledge that we have challenges before us but that through intelligent, proactive action, we will overcome it together.

Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel may actually be a train.  If I deny it’s a train, it will run right over me.

But if I acknowledge it is a train, then I can work to solve the problem and convert the light at the end of the tunnel into a ray of hope.

And that is where optimism and positive thinking work best – as the fuel to help us believe that we WILL overcome our challenges …..

…. whatever they are ……

…. together.

In service and servanthood.

Harry

For my detailed blog about “Is Optimism Killing Us?”, please click here.

How Easily Intimidated Are You?

How easily intimidated are you when interacting with other people whom you consider to be “empowered” or “superior” in some way? 

Many of us have had an opportunity to interact with someone who feels intimidating to be around.  This perception of intimidation produces in some people’s minds, a wrestling match between their ego and the other person’s (even though the other person is unaware of it).  The wrestling match produces one of three outcomes from the perspective of the observer:

1. My ego is ok with this and we can find things to collaborate around.

2. My ego feels it is not worthy and I don’t understand why he would bother with me, therefore I will not participate for fear of not living up to his expectations.

3. My ego feels it is threatened, that his ego will exert influence over me or have knowledge that I don’t (thus making me look bad) and so I will avoid the opportunity to collaborate.

For those in categories 2 or 3, when they discover that the “intimidating” person really wants a true win-win collaboration, this throws their ego off even more and suggests to them that the other person must have an ulterior motive on top of an inflated ego.  This deepens their reasoning that their ego must be protected from embarrassment and ridicule at all cost and so a collaboration must be avoided.

Meanwhile, those in category 1 know that the only difference between arrogance and confidence in the one they observe is usually just perspective - notice I said usually :-).

People may be surprised to know how many people there are in categories 2 and 3 who are in high positions of power; whether in government, business or other institutions.  I believe that categories 2 and 3 make up a significant percentage of people in positions of leadership.

What a Waste of Potential

We waste so many opportunities to collaborate and to create positive results for the greater good when we fail to realize that we all bring incredible gifts, talents and strengths to the table. 

With such gifts, there is no need for ego-wrestling.  We all need each other.

The threatened observer, while perceiving a large ego in the observed …. 

is merely observing the gap in egos between the observer and the observed and not the ego of the observed.

In other words, it’s not that the observed person has too great an ego ….

it’s that the observer may have too small an ego.

A More Insidious Intimidation

While we choose to work with people (or not) based on this ego gap, there is another type of intimidation going on in the world that we accept but I believe is potentially more crippling or debilitating in our lives.

I call this intimidation “information or intellectual intimidation”, the use of facts, figures, credentials or a majority opinion to force people into a desired action even when the facts are nebulous, inaccurate or downright wrong.

One could write thousands of pages, citing many examples (I include some examples in my detailed blog here).   There are many challenges that trouble people privately and professionally and yet they are kept quiet for fear of losing their job, their friends, their family, etc.

The “emperor is not wearing any clothing” but for a variety of reasons, we stay quiet or look the other way. Meanwhile, our challenges grow – we just don’t discuss them publicly.

This seems to be to be the ultimate intimidation. and given the potential impact, a very dangerous one.

We Need To Decide What is Really Important

So our ego works to protect us from what it perceives as immediate threats against itself when we engage in one-on-one interactions, when many of those interactions may have produced results far greater than anything we could ever have accomplished by ourselves.

Meanwhile, greater threats to our prosperity and well-being are at play every day and yet we don’t see them or we are afraid to have an opinion about them, for a variety of reasons.

I wonder if our egos need to choose our battles more intelligently.

On the one side, our ego rises to protect us without having any facts to justify its behavior.

On the other side, it accepts things from certain people with specific titles, again without having any facts.  However, many of us make the mistake of assuming that having a title makes some people superior in intention, morals or values and so facts aren’t important in these situations.

When we strip the titles off those people, they are all just people and so our ego should hold them accountable to the same set of rules.

As Neale Donald Walsch wrote:

Be aware

Be honest

Be responsible

Let’s apply our ego consistently across the board – to collaborate, to question, to see the gifts in ourselves and others and to make a difference for ourselves and the greater good.

Better yet, don’t let your ego do the talking or thinking for you.  What does your spirit or instinct tell you?

In service and servanthood.

Harry

For my detailed blog “How Easily Intimidated Are You?”, please click here.

Making a Difference or Just Pleasing Yourself

(This is slightly longer than my typical “Musings-in-a-Minute”.  I didn’t want to remove any detail from my most recent blog …. read on)!

I've been disrupted this evening by two quotes. The first, by Leo Rosten, is:

"The purpose of life is not to be happy - but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you have lived at all."

I'll get to the second one a little later in this post.

As with many pearls of wisdom, we read them, absorb them and then move on with our busy lives.

But this time, I happened across these two quotes while looking into the eyes of a young child in an online campaign designed to raise funds for children in developing nations. The child was sickly and starving - someone who lived in a world without hope, without dreams... wondering if anyone out there cared at all.

Wondering if this is all there is.

And when this sequence of events coalesced at the same moment this evening, it made me stop and think "How much do we REALLY do for others"?

Yes, we talk a lot about doing the right things and many of us do the token, obligatory acts of giving that don’t require a lot of effort and then we clap ourselves on the shoulder, congratulate ourselves regarding our benevolence and we move on with our lives.

How much do we REALLY think of people like this child?

I recently went through a pretty serious house-cleaning where I got rid of hundreds of promotional t-shirts, pens, pins and other stuff designed to help me think of the companies that gave them to me.

The promotional industry calls this stuff swag. As I got rid of it, to me it wasn't swag - it was junk.

Junk that occupied valuable space in my home, costs me money to move if I keep it, is negatively impactful on the environment to create, is wasteful to distribute and will be a detriment to the environment if not disposed of properly. Meanwhile, I am not using any of it for the purpose it was designed.

So from my perspective, it IS junk. It is of no benefit to me at all.

A lot of time goes into selecting the right items, deciding who gets them and when it is appropriate to deliver them.

More thought and money goes into the swag (junk) industry than is going into helping others.

Thankfully, not all companies and individuals think this way.

Some companies actually prefer a different approach. One such company, Henge Production and Consulting, buys goats on behalf of its clients instead of providing the clients with the usual t-shirts, pens, mouse pads and other useless paraphernalia. These goats allegedly make their way to destitute families in developing nations, helping to lift these families out of the dire situations that they are in.

However, this raises a question.

When such a gift is made, do the goats actually make it to these families or is this just another scam to help us feel good about helping others while not accomplishing anything measurable or useful for those in need?

Clients of Henge challenged Henge with this very question and the owners of Henge paused and realized:

"We actually don't know the answer - do our ethical gifts actually make a difference?"

So Henge set out to discover if their act of ethical gifting actually delivers goats to families in developing nations and if so, do these goats make a difference to the recipients?

Their incredible journey has been documented in a soon-to-be-released documentary entitled "Where's My Goat?". In the film, Christopher Richardson, a producer at Henge, sets out on a journey that takes him halfway around the world in his quest to find his goats and to understand what, if any, impact they have.

Do his goats exist? Does anyone benefit from such a gift or is it truly a feel-good Western ideal (or worse, is it a scam that produces nothing of value except to the scammer)?

You'll have to watch the film to find out. You can find out more on their Facebook page - http://tinyurl.com/3xunzs4.

As you watch the film, you will be moved by the passion of a man as he seeks the answer to the question

"Are my intentions of making a difference in the world REALLY making a difference"?

If you have an opportunity to watch the film, be prepared to be disrupted and then ask yourself this question:

"Am I REALLY doing enough for others?"

Your heart will know the answer.

Follow your heart - it will take you places that will surprise you and will impact others for a lifetime.

As for the second of the two quotes I mentioned earlier, it was written by Daniel Berrigan and goes like this:

"Sometime in your life, hope that you might see one starved man, the look on his face when the bread finally arrives. Hope that you might have baked it or bought or even kneaded it yourself. For that look on his face, for your meeting his eyes across a piece of bread, you might be willing to lose a lot, or suffer a lot, or die a little, even."

Mr. Richardson's film is, I believe, a call to look into the eyes of someone who needs help.

When you do so, I'll bet you won't be able to resist helping them to the best of your ability.

And what's wrong with that?

In service and servanthood.

Harry

Silence is Golden

I’m on vacation.

It’s nothing elaborate.

I haven’t gone off to some ritzy vacation resort where all the family members are overwhelmed with stuff to do.

I haven’t gone to a remote place that requires a PhD to plan how to get a family there and back again without losing someone along the way.

The thought of such a vacation exhausts me just thinking about it.  I thought vacations were created to help us rest, not run us down further.

What I have done is unplugged from my day-to-day regimen and taken some time to recharge in the middle of a cross-country move.

No client emails or voicemails …. no meetings.

Almost (yes, almost) no social media interaction.  Yep .. almost no Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn or any of the other services I am a member of.  Surprisingly and contrary to popular opinion, you can cut back significantly and still do quite well mentally.

Very few people know where we are.

It’s just me, my family (all but my oldest son), some good books that I’ve been meaning to finish for a year or more and practically no agenda.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh … silence is truly golden.

As the ocean breeze gently blows in through my open window this evening, something occurs to me.

Many of us are afraid to slow down because we all want to believe the world will shrivel up and die without us.

Nothing could be further from the truth.  Only our ego could dream up such a thing.

So given that the world will merrily continue to function quite well without us, what would it hurt us to occasionally put our hand up and say “Stop – I need a minute to think”.

I just did …. and I must tell you that the result was delicious, invigorating and revitalizing.  It is providing me with greater insight and clarity into upcoming projects.

We are happy to spend thousands on the latest gimmick du jour to help us improve our productivity.

Sometimes the greatest thing we can do is nothing at all … just for a little while.

Are you ready to give it a try?

In service and servanthood.

Harry

For my detailed musing on “Silence is Golden”, please click here.

Wanted For Hire: Not Too Smart or Too Stupid

I was recently helping someone move from Europe to Canada and despite an impeccable academic background, attitude and outlook, he came up empty-handed and so he moved on to another part of the world.

He should have been a shoe-in for a job but he couldn’t find one.  What held him back?

It seems that in the marketplace he had targeted, there were additional criteria that he couldn’t meet; a secret, fuzzy criteria that was impossible to study for or anticipate.

The people he had approached didn’t want him to be too smart.  In essence, they didn’t want him to be smarter than they are (by their own definition and judgment) because it left their ego with a sense of being threatened.

So my response to them was “so you need this person to be not as smart as you” to which the response was “well, we won’t invest in him if he is too stupid either”.

So the final criteria for this enterprising individual was that he had to be less intelligent than the hiring person but not too stupid either – a nebulous range that would vary from one hiring individual to another and a range that would be impossible to anticipate on an interview-by-interview basis.

True leaders want and need to find people who are as smart or preferably, smarter than they are.  True leaders know they are tasked with leading individuals and groups to produce exceptional results and in the process, create leaders who are more knowledgeable than they are.

When leaders can adjust their ego such that they have enough to be confident but not so much that they forget their purpose, to create results as well as the leaders of tomorrow, then we will finally be on the road to a balanced, exceptional future – in business, in government, in institutions and in society.

Strong leadership and strong ego are both accelerants – one accelerates results and growth for everyone and one accelerates the demise of everyone.

When you are hiring, are you looking to create a legacy of results and strong leadership in your teams or are you hiring to fuel your own ego?

How do you know?

In service and servanthood.

Harry

To read my detailed blog “Wanted For Hire: Not Too Smart or Too Stupid”, please click here.

Don’t Invest in Maybe

I’ve had some opportunity recently to revisit my BHAG, what Jim Collins in “Good to Great” describes as your “big hairy audacious goal”.

The BHAG is that which drives you to move forward towards a specific objective in life.  It is a goal that is not easy to achieve;  something that stretches you (maybe painfully) in a number of ways and establishes a reason for existence that relentlessly calls you to do whatever it takes in order for you to get there.

It provides the filter that you apply against every significant decision and action in  your life since everything you think, say and do takes you closer to or further away from your life goals and purpose.

Many people have hopes, wishes, dreams and aspirations but they do not have a BHAG that they move towards with focus and intention.  They wander aimlessly around hoping to hit on their purpose; wasting their time and the time of those around them.

For people who waste our time, it is easy to be frustrated with others as we think “I can’t believe so-and-so did such-and-such”.

It’s not their fault.

It’s ours.

When someone enters our space, it is OUR choice that determines whether they stay there and what they do while they are there.

We are best equipped to do this when we find our BHAG and are aggressive about controlling what contributes to it, detracts from it and what defines how clear or cloudy it is.

If someone else enters your space and the reasons for collaboration are not immediately clear, politely and respectfully protect your space.

Have the courage to say “no” once in a while and stick to it.

It is YOUR Life after all.

Have a say in how you live it, what feeds into it, what influences it, what consumes your time and what results you produce.

YOU are worth it.

In service and servanthood.

Harry

For my detailed musing about “Don’t Invest in Maybe”, please click here.

Where’s the Beef?

In 1984, the Wendy’s restaurant chain ran a smart commercial about an elderly lady who walked into a competitor’s hamburger restaurant, ordered their “Big Bun hamburger” and was greatly disappointed with what she was presented with.  As she looked over the sandwich that was all bun and no burger, she yelled out the famous phrase “Where’s the beef?”.

As a strategy guy looking over many of the challenges facing us today, the same question comes to mind.  Think of the challenges that are swirling around us these days and assurances from political, military and business leaders to “trust us” as the challenges continue to grow.

Lately as these and other assurances fall flat, I think of the old Wendy’s commercial and have to ask:

“Where’s the beef?”

Whenever anyone challenges the message of “Trust us” in these or other areas, we are met with a number of reasons (or excuses) why trust is all we have to go on.

Here are some of the ones we are given:

• National security – sharing what we know will compromise your safety.
• Confidentiality – sharing what we know will jeopardize corporate confidentiality.
• Complexity – the problems and solutions are simply too complicated to explain to everyone.
• Timing – we don’t have time to stop and explain this; we’re off to tackle the next “thing” of an urgent nature.  Other timing related excuses include things such as “if we delay execution too long, a corporation will suffer or a military opponent will gain the upper hand and you don’t want that on your hands, do you?”.
• Over-estimation of risk – we know there is less risk than you think there is, so there is no need to stop and engage in a pointless dialog about a problem that is not as bad as people think it is.
• Intelligence – we are experts at this, you are not, so whose opinion matters more?

What some of these leaders need to remember is that the electorate and people at large are a lot smarter than they realize.

Fortunately for these leaders, many people are crushed with the weight of keeping their families above water on a daily basis and so they can’t take the time to stop and say to today’s leaders:

“Where’s the beef?”

Some people who do ask the question are easily intimidated into silence using a variety of techniques.

I think if we could finally get many of these leaders to be totally accountable and transparent around their challenges and intentions, then we would truly see the real risks (or lack of) with many of the things that face us.

When we all have knowledge of the challenges before us, we tap into a much larger group of people who can contribute to solutions.

And then, maybe then, we will truly move closer to our phenomenal potential on this planet.

Have you asked a leader lately “Where’s the beef?”. 

If you have and you didn’t like the answer, keep asking.

If you haven’t asked the question, why haven’t you?

Regardless of how proactive each of us is in contributing to the world, we all reap the harvest, good and bad, together.

Let’s make it a bountiful, sustainable harvest.

We can choose to correct our behaviors or we can choose to do nothing and eventually, our behaviors will be corrected for us in a process that I refer to as the Great Correction.

I’d rather own the process than be owned by it.

How about you?

In service and servanthood.

Harry

For my detailed blog “Where’s the Beef?”, please click here.

Ego Versus Spirit

Being a servant leader is one of the most challenging and rewarding endeavors that one can embrace.

For some, the concept of leadership invites thoughts of power; the notion that “I have earned this dominion over others so that I may direct them as I feel they need to be directed.” Others believe that with their talents and life experiences, the awarding of the title, “leader,” is an entitlement; some type of reward they are owed based on what they have accomplished.

The true servant leader sees leadership as the opportunity to serve others, to influence the team and surrounding environment to produce long-lasting, impactful results and to encourage development of similar leadership traits in others.

With any of these beliefs, leaders often find themselves confronted by something that is both one of the greatest gifts AND one of the single largest enemies of leadership. This combination of gift and enemy within one entity can be confusing and beguiling. We need this gift in small doses in order to move forward with confidence. In these situations, it is a necessary companion on our Life journey. However, when it grows sufficiently, it passes the point of empowering us and instead, destroys us and everything around us.

What is this “thing” that is both an empowering, enlightening gift and a disempowering, destructive foe?

It is our ego.

Our ego, in the correct amount, provides us with the self-confidence that propels us to use our gifts appropriately in the service of others. It enables us with the oomph to keep moving when times are challenging. As ego helps us move forward, the Universe often rewards us by manifesting blessings in many ways.

However, many times our ego, which has been our healthy and enabling companion, takes a look at this manifestation and thinks, “Hmmm … I must be pretty good to manifest this. I wonder what else I can manifest if I put my mind to it?”

The ego, having forgotten that the “royal we” produced the abundance together, begins to assert itself as the master of its domain. It takes actions assuming that only it knows the right way to do things; that only it has the knowledge needed and, in the end, it can only count on itself to gets things done. It embraces the belief that “if you want it done right, you have to do it yourself.”

What further exacerbates the situation is that ego has, as part of its self-defense mechanism, the belief that everyone else has an ego that is intentionally conspiring to knock it down from its lofty perch. To protect itself, it proactively attempts to weaken the ego of others with thoughts of distrust, hurtful words, action to disable others, and other non-collaborative efforts.

This results in leaders and the teams they serve dissolving into a tense, combative, exhausting conflict of wills, and a struggle to establish who is smartest, most able, most capable, or most whatever. However, what the ego most fears is our Spirit, the part of us we can’t see but we know is there.

The Spirit recognizes our gifts and allows us to recognize the gifts of others. It allows us to embrace the belief we are all in this together, and the best way to make a difference and exert impactful influence is by bringing our gifts together.

Just as a leader who leads with ego finds egos responding in kind, the leader who leads with Spirit finds the Spirit of others responding in return.

• The Spirit that says, “I honor the gifts within you as I know you honor the gifts within me.”
• The Spirit that is built upon love, trust, collaboration, learning and sharing.
• The Spirit that is built upon serving others, not ruling them.

If you have too little ego, you become the world’s doormat. If you have too much, you think the world is your doormat. Neither extreme is healthy and the servant leader seeks to find a balance between the two extremes. As a servant leader, have enough ego to propel yourself to action, but let your Spirit be that which takes action.

My many years of consulting on Wall Street have helped me to ascertain, in a matter of minutes, the level of success enjoyed by a leader and their team. How do I know? It’s simple really. In the first five minutes, I can sense whether the Spirit on the other side of the table wants to hug me in welcome or the ego wants to choke me in an effort to control me.

Our ego says, “I am perfect.” Our Spirit says. “We are perfect.”

When I am sitting across the table from you, does your Spirit or your ego do the talking? How do you know?

In service and servanthood.

Harry Tucker

This blog was also posted on Northfork Center For Servant Leadership on May 6th, 2010.

While my Musings-in-a-Minute versions of my detailed blogs are usually an abbreviated version of the original blog, my Musings-in-a-Minute version of  my detailed blog for “Ego versus Spirit” is the same given the short nature of this entry.

Can You Ask For Help?

A former schoolmate of mine was buried yesterday.

As we get older, we know that death is part of life and we come to accept it as a natural part of living that we will face someday.

However, what made her end-of-days so tragic in my mind was that she died by her own hand at an early age (under 50 years of age).

She was significant to me in junior high and high school.  While I am 6’3” now, back then I was much smaller and was a regular target of bullies.  My friend would step in often and would chase the bullies off, telling them to leave me alone.  She was my hero when I needed help.

But many of us didn’t know that she was crying for help and by the time we discovered it, it was too late.

We as inhabitants of this beautiful planet carry a two-fold responsibility as part of the “rent” we pay for occupying space here.

The first responsibility is that when we see opportunities to help others personally, professionally, ecologically or in any other way, I think it is ok to stick our nose in to offer help.  If our help is turned down, we should assess how important the situation is before saying “ok” and walking away.

The second responsibility and the one that is far more difficult to live up to is for each of us to not be afraid to ask for help.

Let’s be more aggressive in offering help to others.

More importantly, let’s not be afraid of asking for help.

A person or organization’s life may depend on it.

It may be yours or someone close to you.

Can you ask for help? 

Do you have the courage to ask for it when you need it?

Do you have the sense of obligation to answer the call when it comes on behalf of others?

As for my friend, my prayers are with her family.  We didn’t hear her cry for help. 

Let’s not let the cries for help go unnoticed, unheeded and unanswered, including our own.

That is, after all, an important part of our responsibility while we are here.  Our responsibility to others also includes the fact that asking for help is much more difficult than offering it, so let’s be more cognizant of the needs of others.

We can’t save everybody and everything. 

But I think we can do much better.

What do you think?

In service and servanthood.

Harry

To see my more detailed blog “Can You Ask For Help?”, please click here.

Traveling Medicine Shows in the 21st Century

Many of us have seen movies, read books or are aware of other references to what years ago was referred to as the traveling medicine show.

In the late 1800’s in the US, people hawking magical elixirs and powders would do so using a fast-paced, pressure-filled sales pitch that was accompanied by performing artists.

In the 21st century, such shows still exist.  The only difference is that now they are on-demand, appearing within your own home whenever you feel like watching them.

Take this video by Jeremy Bennett, (note on April 24/ 2010: Mr. Bennett has removed the video) for example, where he claims that by loving your anxiety, you can cure it.  In the video, he claims anxiety actually loves hate and because we allegedly hate anxiety, we fuel it with our hate and so simply by loving anxiety, it will fade away.

Ahhhhhh …..  if it were only that easy.

I have no issue with people promoting unusual thoughts out there – it is a free world where the exchange of knowledge must be allowed to flow freely.

However, when I watched this video by Mr. Bennett today, I challenged him by posting some comments under the video; comments along the lines of how some of his facts are incorrect and some of them are not based on any research or accepted theories.  I also expressed my thought that this video wasn’t very authentic for a number of reasons.

His response was to delete my messages and then to block me from writing any more comments.

I believe that when someone has an interesting theory or idea to share, it should stand up to close scrutiny and questioning.  After all, if the promoter truly believes their material to be true, won’t they be happy to defend their ideas?

When people are afraid to answer questions and they don’t want others to see the questions either, then I question whether they have anything real at all.

Maybe …. just maybe ….. they are just selling another elixir.

When I was a kid, we used to be amazed at the stuff we could buy for 25 cents from a comic book: things like genuine x-ray glasses, wrist bracelets that gave you the strength to “karate-chop” a thick piece of wood and books that promised insight into the ancient wisdom of the universe.

While today’s technology is far more advanced, when it comes to being gullible, sometimes I wonder how much we have progressed.

In service and servanthood.

Harry

PS On his website, Mr. Bennett claims to have trained members of the White House.  Perhaps his theories on curing anxiety are part of the new Health Care bill.  I hope not.

April 21/2010 – I noticed that since my blog was published, Mr. Bennett has renamed his video to “Jeremy Bennett's 1st Two Steps To What Helped Him Manage His Anxiety” from the originally named “Unorthodox Cure For Anxiety”.

April 22/2010 - I noticed that Mr. Bennett just added a blue banner to his video citing "ALWAYS seek professional help as soon as possible. There are trained professionals that could change your life."

This is a good banner - I am glad that my blog and the comments and urgings of others are bringing a level of authenticity to his presentation. It's content is still questionable in my opinion but at least people are reminded to seek professional help and this is important.

April 23/2010 – Mr. Bennett has removed references from his bio regarding being an advisor to the White House and working with the stars of the movie “What The Bleep”. 

April 24/2010 – Mr. Bennett removed the video (the link I have now shows a “Video has been removed by the user” message.  I guess the video did not stand up to public scrutiny.

To see my detailed blog “Traveling Medicine Shows in the 21st Century”, please click here.

Be the Salt

In Matthew 5:13, Matthew writes:

"You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet.” (ESV)

There are many people around us who are “the salt”; those people who bring collaboration, sharing, creativity and a new dimension of “getting things done” to everything they do and they do so with a passion that frightens others. 

Those who are “the salt” in our society know that it is not easy being “the salt”. 

There are many egos who feel threatened by “the salt” and will do whatever it takes to thwart the efforts of “the salt”.

When the owners of ego see “the salt” arrive, they get nervous.  After all, their ego needs recognition and control above all else and arrival of “the salt” challenges this need.

”The salt” on the other hand seeks to live by values such as Stephen Covey’s 4 L’s – to live, to love, to learn and to leave a legacy.

Ego doesn’t understand this, because ego can only attack and take.

We Need Salt

Salt is necessary - without salt, we die.

Without those who are “the salt” in our culture; political, professional, economic, religious, educational, ecological, societal, etc., our culture dies.

Ego fights for recognition and survival from the ego’s standpoint while “the salt” fights to do the right thing for others.  The fight is a fruitless waste of time but the ego knows no other way.

Sometimes “the salt” will give up the fight and ego thinks it has won.  It hasn’t.  “The salt” realized that it was wasting its time and energy and has moved on to where its time, talent and treasure can play a larger, more impactful role with the gifts that it has.

Ego delights in its “victory”, not realizing that it hasn’t won anything for anyone.  No one benefits when ego carries the day.

The prize that ego fights for is small, private, meaningless and selfish.  The prize that “the salt” fights for is large, impactful and loving.

Are you ego-focused or are you “the salt”?

How do you know?

What would others say?

Be “the salt”.  Associate with others who are “the salt”.  The world needs it.

Without it, we all die.

In service and servanthood.

Harry

Addendum: In a conversation I was having with a Facebook friend tonight (thanks, Jeannette), it occurred to me that salt is a fascinating and interesting dichotomy.  It is both a source of nourishment and a source of irritation, depending on the circumstance.  I found this to be very interesting as “the salt” is necessary in society but is often a source of irritation to the egos of others.

For my detailed blog “Be the Salt”, please click here.

Taking Action … or Just Musing About It

Bill Hybels in his wonderful book “Holy Discontent” talks about the things that we observe in the world that burn in our soul so strongly that we feel we MUST do something about them or be consumed by this inner fire.

I’ve been struggling with a holy discontent of my own these days.

I have received a lot of advice from people indicating that others will take care of the things that need to be fixed in the world, the things in the world aren’t as bad as people think, we just need to pray about the problems and they will go away, I should mind my own business, I should respect the processes in places (which are not producing any result), etc.

With deepest respect to all of these well-intentioned folks, I disagree with all of this and have often been criticized for standing up to excuses for not getting stuff done.

In looking for the best way to describe why I disagree with them, I couldn’t explain it any better than Henri Nouwen and his co-authors in the book “Compassion: A Reflection on the Christian Life” and so I share it with you.

“Honest, direct confrontation is a true expression of compassion. As Christians, we are in the world without being of it. It is precisely this position that renders confrontation both possible and necessary. The illusion of power must be unmasked, idolatry must be undone, oppression and exploitation must be fought. This is compassion.

We cannot suffer with the poor when we are unwilling to confront those persons and systems that cause poverty. We cannot set the captives free when we do not want to confront those who carry the keys. We cannot profess solidarity with those who are oppressed when we are unwilling to confront the oppressor. Compassion without confrontation fades quickly into fruitless sentimental commiseration.

But if confrontation is to be an expression of patient action it must be humble.  Our constant temptation is to fall into self-righteous revenge or self-serving condemnation.  The danger here is that our own witness can blind us.  When confrontation is blinded by desire for attention, need for revenge or greed for power, it can easily become self-serving and cease to be compassionate.”

So.

We all have a holy discontent that burns within us.

Are we willing to do what it takes, to collaborate as much as it takes and to take action with every fiber of our being to address our holy discontent?

How strong is our will to see our vision and our personal mission come to fruition and to help others realize the same within their own lives?

The answer to that question not only impacts the sense of purpose in our own lives but in fact, impacts the level of positive results that are achieved in the world.

In service and servanthood.

Harry

To read my detailed musing about “Taking Action …. or Just Musing About It” please go here.

Eastern Health – Leadership in Crisis

I almost NEVER post my political thoughts on the web.

However, in the case of watching Eastern Health (in Newfoundland, Canada) melt down over shortcomings in leadership, I couldn’t help but write this letter to the key stakeholders within the government of Newfoundland and Labrador.

If you want additional specifics, feel free to Google them.  The details are too complex to summarize in my blog but a number of people wanted to see this letter and for this reason, I have posted this on my blog.

My letter follows – comments are welcome.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Monday – March 15, 2010

Good day, Honorable Premier, Honorable Minister of Health, Ms. Jones and Ms. Michael.

As a strategy advisor and leadership incubator on Wall St. for many years, I find the current series of events at Eastern Health interesting and disturbing.

Ms. Kaminski’s claims of ignorance or helplessness regarding the things that are going on in Eastern Health may appear to her to give her a free pass; that all of this is happening without her knowledge and is beyond her control.  Her recent public statements which are more suggestive of a bully and not a leader are not helpful either.

Most leaders know that to admit things are happening without their knowledge or beyond their control is not just symptomatic of problems lower down in the organization.  It is in fact, symptomatic of issues within the leadership itself.  In these situations, there is no limit to how high up the chain one must go in order to find and correct these issues.

The constant cover-ups, misrepresentations, he said / she said accusations, resignations that are stated to be for one reason and then are found to not be related, etc., suggests an organization in crisis and of leadership in crisis.

In addition, the current manner in which this is being debated in public is horrific, unprofessional, unproductive and if anything, continues to erode the confidence of the people.

What makes matters of greater concern is that the devil is not in what we know – it’s in what we don’t know.

I would suspect that if so many leaks in the “Eastern Health boat” have come to light, there is a good chance that there is much more amiss inside the Eastern Health ship that we cannot see.

Just as the dangerous part of an iceberg is mostly out of sight, I wonder if there are many more challenges within Eastern Health that are out of sight, waiting for an inopportune moment to manifest and potentially take the lives of people unnecessarily.

What we see being demonstrated in public could hardly convince us otherwise.

You are all leaders of strong background and high intelligence with a history of service to the people of the Province and a commitment to do the right things for the Province.

Please work together to bring your intelligence, your passion to do the right thing and your commitment for excellence to bear to bring this back under control – not only what we see but what we don’t see also.

To do anything else is to not serve the people of the Province.

Yours most respectfully,

Harry Tucker

 

Addendum – March 19th, 2010:

Some folks may be interested in this earlier blog entry that referenced Eastern Health.

Stewardship – Do Unto Others…..

Almost every one of us can think of a moment in our lives when we really needed help and the right person arrived at the right moment. Maybe that person was a teacher who took extra time for us when we struggled. Maybe it was someone at work who took the time to teach us a new skill or who gave us a break when we really needed it. Perhaps it was a compliment that gave us the self confidence to complete a task. It might have been something as simple as the complete stranger who gave us a smile in the middle of a bad day. Perhaps it wasn’t something done to us directly but a story that was shared with us that inspired us to do something for someone else.

We have many people to be grateful for for all that we have in Life. Think of where we would be without them.

There are many people out there right now who are in need of the same gifts that we have received. While we acknowledge this, we all struggle with the complexities of life, with so many things competing for our time, our talent and our treasure that perhaps prevent us from giving as much as we would like to others.

The truth is that, as in our own lives, oftentimes the most profound and impactful gifts we can give are the simplest and easiest to give. These are the gifts that show others that they are important, that they matter and that others care about them. Often this knowledge alone can have a profound impact on others, an impact that they in turn pass on to others. As it is written in 1 Peter 4:10 - "As each one has received a gift, use it to serve one another as good stewards of God's varied grace."

Bob Pierce defined the term "The Great Compassion" as meaning "Let my heart be broken by that which breaks the heart of God".

What things in the world do you believe break the heart of God? These are the areas where He calls you to help. It is not the size of the act that matters. What matters is whether you take action or leave it as an intention.

We all perform acts of stewardship every day. However, there is always room for more.

Where would you be if someone had chosen to be too busy rather than to help?

Someone is waiting for you. How would you like to help?

"Finally, all of you, be of one mind, sympathetic, loving toward one another, compassionate, humble. " - 1 Peter 3:8

In service and servanthood.

Harry

My detailed musing is the same entry for this blog but if you would like to see my detailed musings, please go here.

If You Don’t Know Where You Are Going …

… any road will take you there.

So Lewis Carroll wrote in Through the Looking Glass.

Many know him as an enlightened author but I wonder if he was in fact, a brilliant strategist.

Many things in life are not measurable and there isn’t a magical, guaranteed plan that, when put into play, guarantees a successful outcome every time.

Many paths that we choose (or allow others to choose on our behalf) are benign and when we realize we are on the wrong path, we can retrace our steps and choose a better one.  Hopefully we are better for the experience anyway, we reason.

However, many paths are VERY long, VERY expensive to travel and many have road mines that when tripped, impact our ability to continue down ANY path.

A Better Way

There seems to be a great need to return to respectful dialog using all the information at our disposal.

We loudly trumpet how we have more information now than ever.

That’s wonderful.  However, it is only truly valuable when it is used.

The choices we make as a result of sharper, focused dialogue and enhanced accountability may not guarantee the desired result, but it will give us a better chance of avoiding the stuff that sets us back further and further.

The economic, corporate, societal and ecological states of the world do not have much room left for continued random execution with the hope of accidentally finding something that works.

We don’t have much room for turning a blind eye towards personal agendas either.

We need to encourage people to be more responsible and accountable about how they choose the road that they travel.  Remember that we all travel these roads together.  The road they choose is the one that we end up on.

Do you think we are travelling down the best road?

How do you know?

What are you going to do about it?

In service and servanthood.

Harry

To read my detailed blog about “If You Don’t Know Where You Are Going …” please click here.

Hubris and Humility – Finding a Balance

One of the things I have noticed in the last five to ten years is that we have either discovered a LOT more experts in the world than we thought existed or that current world dynamics encourage people to proclaim themselves as experts even when they are not.

Given the number of challenges that remain unsolved in the world, my bet would be that the latter is a more accurate assessment.

I wonder if we have forgotten the importance of humility in how we relate to others or even how we relate to ourselves.  Many of us have spent so much time overhyping our experience, our expertise or our strengths that we now believe it ourselves – our hype has transformed from self-promotion to core belief.

Frankly, we amaze ourselves with our brilliance.  We’re just waiting for the world to finally “get it” – to catch up to our brilliant mind.

Feels good, doesn’t it?

Or does it?

Strong leaders need confidence.  Without confidence and a passion for moving towards our purpose, leaders lack the ability to inspire others, to motivate them and to push through when challenges and obstacles are significant.

That being said, confidence must always be tempered with humility.

The humility that accepts that we don’t have all the answers.  We may not even know all the questions.

We need humility that acknowledges that we need each other.

This is not the humility that calls us to be the doormat to the world.  If we do that, we discover that many in the world are content to wipe their feet off on us as they proceed on their own quest.

We each bring a unique combination of  knowledge, talents, strengths, insights and life experiences.  This unique combination of gifts means that we are called to bring these gifts to bear in collaboration with others.

When we realize this and humbly acknowledge that we need everyone and that others need us in return, then we allow ourselves to temper our hubris with humility.

I have been as guilty as the next person for believing my own “shtick”.  That’s why I am grateful for the reminders that bring me back to reality.

Some reminders have been gently and privately delivered.  Some have not been so gently or privately delivered, which is why I am reminded that confidence empowers while hubris kills.

Which do you embrace?

How do you know?

More importantly, would others agree with you?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

For my detailed blog about “Hubris and Humility”, please click here.